Gays and Lesbians: do you have friends of them?

HAT · #1 (**permalink**) 07-08-2009, 15:41

(Disclaimer: this is not a gay-lesbian bashing thread, rather it is a reflection on some views on having gay friends amongst us)

Recently, I found out from my Facebook communications, that some of my friends from my secondary school days (meaning age 13-16) have professed openly that they are gay.

I am not going to say I am neutral about gays, because I do not quite understand them nor have any friend who openly admit they are gay.
Although I tried to sound diplomatic and even nonchalant about this discovery, I was quite "amused" or some may even say disturbed.

Is it nature or nurture? Or is it a fad to some?
To make things even more interesting, he told me, some other schoolmates from the same cohort, are also gay and they are actively protesting against the main authorities who are against gay activities and gay se.x. (which is still illegal in most Asian countries).

So do you have a gay friend (assuming you are not gay)? What do you REALLY think about it?

(To the gays here, please don't hijack this thread to promote your cause, no matter how noble it may be. You may like to start another thread for that)

flow23 · #2 (**permalink**) 07-08-2009, 16:54

i have 2 gay friends. theyre loyal, true, funny guys/friends. what i do like about them is they're no (drama)queens and do not behave that poncy. thats what i dislike or feel not comfy with when theyre talking nasally and move that effeminate/wobbly(its not that two men have SX with, love each other, but why do some speak n behave that way?) and what i really hate is when they check me out and keep it up after i said "no, feck off! im not interested as im straight!" and the reply is "you havent tried, maye you like it?" its the rare occasion i tend to punch somebodys face...

i think everybody should be happy. and when that is their way to happyness and love...fine! but please leave me alone.

Mikey · #3 (**permalink**) 07-08-2009, 20:10

I have a gay friend who is a great laugh. Always seems to be in a good mood and the life and soul of the party.

Going back to the question as to whether it is a fad or not, I think that it is becoming more of a lifestyle choice. I think that people are finding it so hard to find a partner of the opposite sex that they choose to become gay as it is easier from a relationship perspective.

There will always be some that are truly gay. I remember a girl from my old school that was very much a tom-boy. I was not surprised to discover later that she was gay. So I think that with some there is a genetic tendency towards being gay, but most are just bored with chasing stone cold women or putting up with the alpha male.

Personally, I refuse to turn gay just to get laid

lesley · #4 (**permalink**) 08-08-2009, 07:11

Several friends who are gay.
Four are in a settled (ie civil partnership) and two are total shag anything that moves. IMHO, it is not a lifestyle choice and nor is it a fad. All have tried intimacy with the opposite sex and all have said they preferred their own. Live and let live I say.

swissflygirl · #5 (**permalink**) 08-08-2009, 18:08

It's not a trend or a fad, my gay friends just are. Some are in same sex marriages, others choose to not get tied down.... just like my hetero friends.
My gay friends don't care that I'm attracted to the opposite sex and I don't care that they're attracted to the same sex, they're my friends.

Tilia · #6 (**permalink**) 09-08-2009, 20:20

If somebody is gay or not is totally irrelevant to me. In my experience gayness really doesn't influence someones character one iota.

flow23 · #7 (**permalink**) 10-08-2009, 09:28

exactly what i can tell about my gay friends SFG n Tilia! but i noticed that end of 90ies it became a bit more of an "in"-thing to be gay, though some men or women werent. maybe this highlighted in madonna kissing xtina and titney? it lead for me as well to the metrosexual "movement".
i remember trying to buy clothes eg at Ludwig Beck in Munich 2002. i was so confused as i couldnt make out whats female whats male clothes?!

most of all i like a lot of art, music and poetry etc. many gay people did and do: michelangelo, warhol, wilde etc.

lesley · #8 (**permalink**) 10-08-2009, 13:21

I've just re read a couple of the replies, IMHO, nobody chooses to be gay, nor is it a fad and to suggest that people become gay just for a leg over, is not only stupid and ignorant, but laughably ridiculous. I have spoken to my 'best' pet poof about this and he confirmed, that nobody would choose this lifestyle. Just as straight people don't choose to want a bit of hows your father with the opposite sex, homosexuals don't choose the opposite. The level of hatred, fear and ostrascision from the general public (let alone familial disappointment) wouldn't be something someone would choose.
I think that despite your best protestations HAT, you are just being inflammatory.

Ayla · #9 (**permalink**) 10-08-2009, 16:15

I agree Lesley, why choose to be Gay when society and some family give you a hard time. It's only in recent decades that people here in Switzerland, especially males have been able to be open about their sexual orientation.

I openly support the rights of Gay people to live their life as God created them.

HAT · #10 (**permalink**) 10-08-2009, 20:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by lesley

I think that despite your best protestations HAT, you are just being inflammatory.

Sorry I seem to attract your wrath, in what way did I write something inflammatory?
I was just asking an honest question.

I have had NO gay friends, up til now, and was just asking for some opinions.
Is that inflammatory?

Can I be allowed to be skeptical about something I don't know?
I am not a Know-it-all, unlike some of you.

Come on, why are you flamming me instead?
To be fair to me, please re-read my original post.
I thought I was just asking a question. So what if this is a gay question.

I am not against gays and never said this also. I think some of you may think I am putting out a bait, but I am not. Sorry to disappoint you.