What is cheating? Is it when your heart or your beloveds' is elsewhere? Or is it just sexual for you? If you found out your partner spent all day chatting/posting online would you feel they were cheating on you?

Can you truely forgive someone that has cheated on you?

It's not all secretaries and their bosses, nor innocent partners "seduced" by a harlot/gigolo, nor is it as trashy as on "Cheaters"; most have us have done it... to different degrees, but why?

Is it human nature to be monogamous?

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Cranky.

I'm not the jealous type at all so I couldn't care less to be honest if my partner chatted or flirted or went out on his own.

To forgive someone for cheating, you'd have to feel cheated in the first place which I doubt I would.

I think humans are made for monogamous relationships but only for a short while (4 years). After that, I think we are genetically programmed to go out hunting for better genes. That's why we cheat.

Wow..nothing like a huge topic like this to liven up a Tuesday afternoon...

Had you asked me several years ago, I'd have said that even thinking of another in anything other than a fleeting manner was deemed to be cheating. And that yes, man/woman was, is and should always be monogamous.

Then I grew up.

And now I'm not so sure about the absolutely, definitely monogamous conviction. There are plenty of nature vs nurture debates about whether we are or are not better off being monogamous. In today's day and age, where two people do not necessarily become a couple to procreate, the lines are blurred anyway. Does one really look for ultimate genes when looking for a partner anymore?

As for what defines cheating...... if it breaks the other person's heart, it's cheating. If it was OK if the other found out about whatever 'it' is you're doing then it's not. Anything in between.... I don't know.

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Bring on Summer!

It's to do with intent. If you spend all day chatting online with somebody because you find them sexually attractive or seductive that is pretty dishonest, and could be considered cheating. Having sex with somebody other than your partner is definitely cheating, there is no grey area.

not a big deal, the worst thing is to become too possesive....so don't really care who he mixes with, talks to, chats too etc...

i think i could, if i loved them....

definately not, that's what makes it special when you try....(sorry if i sound sappy)

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It's an interesting topic because there are people who will tolerate a partner openly cheating on them over and over again and there are others who will pack their bags at the slightest hint that their partner so much as hints he/she finds a neighbour/colleague/celebrity/whatever vaguely attractive.

I (touches wood) have never been cheated on to my knowledge so I don't know how I would react if the situation arose.

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Remember - if it hits the fan, it's not going to be evenly distributed...

well, when i refer to forgiveness it's a one time offer (no repeat offenders)

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Hey Tilia,



Whatcha up to later?


There are great lessons to be learned from getting yourself involved in a potential affair.

The first - as I see it - is it challenges you to question whether you dream of gold but wake with silver.

Second - as I see it - if you were not in a relationship but the other person was, would you drop everything for them? Now, try it vice-versa: would you lose what you have?

I think the second point is what hinders us; we just can't afford to lose all what we've built-up. We're all weak and I really don't trust anyone who says otherwise. Perfect relationship? Right.

On an off-topic note (for a huge change) I watched the Adam Sandler film Little Nicky last night. His mother - played by Reese Witherspoon - was an Angel, in Heaven. How weird; Mother as a hot, blonde angel. Is that what we're chasing?

(I'm not, just muddying the waters in the name of chat)

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Be good to your friends

I guess it is up to a couple to define what is viewed as cheating - in an open relationship, that would be defined very differently than in other relationships.

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Bring on Summer!

Cheating, is for me doing something with someone not your partner that is outside of the terms you and your partner have agreed too.

If you've agreed to be Monogamous, then touching,kissing, sex with someone else is cheating.

If you haven't agreed to be monogamous but have agreed to be a couple then cheating becomes anything you do outside of your agreements around the situation.

As for forgiving or not, I truly believe it varies in every single situation.

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trust no one