I don't think it's true that we can't afford to lose all we have built up, or at least I don't feel that way. It's quite easy to assess what it really means to leave somebody and ultimately you know that it wouldn't be the end of the world, life goes on.

You do have to make your bed and lie in it though, maybe you are the sort of person that can deal with multiple relationships on the go at the same time all through your life but the majority of other people aren't like that and it will cause problems for you.

The grass is always a cup size bigger on the other side and you just have to work out your game plan. If you choose to live in deceit, and get away with it, it is you that knows about the infidelity and you that has to face the demons, it's yourself that you are making life difficult for. If you don't want to go this route then you need to be realistic and focus on building a strong relationship.

Cheating is doing something your partner doesn't approve of. Which is time-variant, weather-variant and pretty much everything-variant as well as being dependent on what he/she is doing at the moment but not dependent on what he/she chose to forget that he/she did.

my turn
( I already know you will find this completely ridiculous but I do believe in this)

I think, as we are such incomplete beings, with so many imperfections, such a lack of understanding how a man or a woman functions (even though volumes have been written on this) we can just never get to what dreams are made of in regards to relationships. Maybe we can hang on to it for a while .. .if we are lucky enough.

Cheating is just one of those things which make us feel guilty, like so many other things we do make us feel guilty.

As I don't usually do too much of a thing which makes me feel bad, I hate to feel bad, I simply try to avoid inflicting pain on myself, especially emotional pain, I just so hate it, it is worse than any physical pain.

I saw too many relationship breakups not only within my own family but all around me. I truly do wonder if we still know what it means to care about someone other than me I and myself. We have become a very selfish society and the lack of contentment is just so huge anything will be good enough to fill the emptiness and that just includes cheating on our partners.

...

Unusually for one of Sada's posts there is a core statement to be found.

I'd say that's perfectly valid if you're in love with the person you're cheating with. Usually cheating isn't about love but need.

But what a glorious cup-size better...

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Be good to your friends

Economics would call this sunk costs

I really don't mind being transparent but God in heaven, it takes quite something for the other person to be able to stand the ground with what goes on within me and with what comes out of me ... !!!

re-reading all your posts?

I've deleted quite a few of them, have you noticed !!! gosh, so much crap !!!! 1000x crap !!!!

Please don't delete posts if they would adversely affect the flow of the discussion or are subsequently quoted.

Thanks!

BigD

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You make your own luck.

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