Since the hallmark generated holiday is just around the corner, I guess I better come up with something to put a smile on her indoors' face. Anyone any original and slightly different suggestions?

One that worked for me but I had to leave it in the fridge as was working that night. I made fresh beefburger and left it in the fridge as a heart shaped patty with poem and instructions for cooking.

On second thoughts, if your male I don't think it would be a hit.

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The worm has turned.........

I can lend you my Borat man-kini so you can surprise her when she comes home by jumping out suddenly with a large rubber dildo in your hand screaming "Sexy time!"

And if that doesn't work, and I have no idea why it wouldn't, you could try a years supply of rubbers (a pack of three should do it)

This is the kind of sh!te that you women use to get us men in trouble!

This guy is obviously married !!

What is her "indoors' face"?!! (Or should I ask where?)

I always suggest the same thing, but I am tired of BigD groaning at me for what I believe is the bestest gift.

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Cranky.

Not any more, which explains my cheery disposition.

Sada, even though I try not to respond to your inanity, I am happily married and have been for over 20 years. I put this down to not subscribing to the valentines day stuff and not being a fluffy bunnikins. I imagine Mr L would prefer that I was sometimes though.

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One should either be a work of art or wear a work of art.

I am sorry for my inanities, truckloads of bollocks, just ignore it.