Long long long ago before I was married, I used to frequent a pub close to the psychiatric hospital. One man was a regular in both establishments. this spectacularly poor specimin of manhood took a likeing to me for unknown reasons (I was never anything other than rude to him) and proposed marriage, living in sin, loose sexual encounters, group sexual encounters, monogamy, polygamy etc. He was desperate to enjoy my company. One particular evening he decided that we were to be an item and kept bothering me to buy me a drink. As usualy I was rude and told him to go away, he became hysterical and kept showing me a five pound note he had tucked into his sock and screaming that he was carrying. A couple who weren't regulars and thus unused to his strange way of carrying on phoned the police who arrived with a gun unit (not sure if that is the right word). He was arrested and taken back to the psych unit. So chaps, if you want to impress a woman, don't shout 'I'm carrying' over and over in an increasingly hysterical way.

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One should either be a work of art or wear a work of art.

After my interest was piqued in coffee machines, I was yesterday morning in Media Markt, examining their wares.

I was particularly interested in an expresso-machine, but my ability to get close to it was somewhat limited by this old couple standing in front of it. Being a polite kind of chap, I thought rather than adapting the swiss-way, and cutting right in front of them to reach my goal, I hung back in the hope that they soon be done. The lady the turned round, looked at me and screamed. I don't mean she did a double-take or was simply startled ; no, she SCREAMED gutterally at the top of her lungs, long and loud. Not realising that coffee machines invoke such fervour, I was a little shocked.

What really shocked me was that neither she nor her husband said a word, not to me, nor each other and simply turned away again. So as the staff were running over, who knows what they thought ? They simply pulled up short and pointed out the features of the coffee jug. I was left simply feeling uncomfortable.

It reminded me of an assault I once witnessed, where the victim was simply ignored, and everyone continued their business as if nothing had happened...

BigD

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You make your own luck.

www.shootingthecheese.ch
The place for fun and chat in Switzerland.

What did you use as a pick-up line that got her so excited?

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Cranky.

Maybe she just felt my aura.

BigD

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You make your own luck.

www.shootingthecheese.ch
The place for fun and chat in Switzerland.

You may not have realised it, but last Wednesday the scream was screaming to get out.....

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Old MacDonald had tourettes. EE II EE II bollox fcuk sh1t

You felt it too huh....

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Bring on Summer!

And you didn't notice?

do you believe in love on first sight or do i have to come in a 2nd time?

oh already mentioned.
hello, im a writer and i write a telefon book. your numbers missing

Not one I'm proud of, but many years ago (many many actually), a mate and me used to say we were gay (but not a couple) but thought we'd like to go straight and would like some advice from you luuurvly girls about how we should go about it.

Amazing how many times that worked! (or maybe the girls in Leeds were just a bit dim)